Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Musical Pending Transactions and the Art of Customer “Service”

December 30, 2009

Dear Bank of America:

It is with sincere regret that I tell you I will retain my checking account and mortgage with your bank.

While this may sound like good news, it isn’t. Today I sat on the phone with your customer service department for over an hour trying to rectify a situation with overdraft fees. On the 22nd, I sat in front of the ATM, speaking to one of your associates. My balance at that time reflected that it was negative, per mobile banking (There’s an App for that). I asked her, “If I deposit this $340.01 into my account right now, will I be able to avoid the other fee from this pending transaction?” She told me that I would.

I deposited the money. I didn’t take it to Wachovia and open up a checking account, even though my gut said I was probably going to regret not doing it.

I even went home and took a screenshot (please see the attached document) of the computer, showing that my deposit made it in before the transaction cleared my account.

Yet today I sat there, despite the fact that the other associate told me that I would not incur the extra fee, and listened to her tell me that there was no way, despite the holiday season, despite my upset tone, despite my CRYING, despite the fact you guys have made THOUSANDS over the course of the past 10 years in my inability to correctly manage the timeliness of my deposits, despite the fact that you’ll easily make thousands more during the next thirty years from my $180k+ mortgage transferred from Countrywide (which really just makes me bitter, because you were the first bank to turn us down) that she could assist me in the reclaiming of the $35 wrongfully appointed overdraft fee.

I really have to hand it to her, because Selena Shoulders of Client Escalation Unit in Virginia really did tactfully avoid the issue. I hope that’s a class you teach in the training of your supervisory staff… How to Skillfully Keep Our Clients Unhappy and Broke Without Actually Reaching Into Their Pockets And Taking The Money Out Yourself….

I love your Online Banking, yet apparently it has not made the retention of a check register obsolete. I loved your new ATMs , until I realized they were a HORRIBLE idea… (Please see the below attached blog entry read by 450 of my closest Facebook Friends) I love the fact that I can transfer my mortgage payment directly from my checking account to my mortgage account. I even love your cool trendy mobile applications for the iphone and blackberries.

The one glint of happiness I retain in all this mess is that I have the ability to post negative information all over the internet about my bank. And while it may or may not affect those that have accounts with you, or even the status of my OWN account, it will make others think twice after seeing your advertising before switching to Bank of America. And, really, I think that’s enough for me.

One day all of the excess unhappiness that your continual inability to identify with your clients causes will actually supercede your tech-y features and I will, finally, switch to the local bank.

Until then, I’ll be here arguing with the Client Escalation Unit and watching the Musical Pending Transactions clear in such a way that maximizes your income.

Thanks for that.

Best Wishes, your most sincerely disgruntled “loyal” customer of nearly 10 years….

Amber M Tometich

Please feel free to visit my new blog: www.Bankamericasucks.blogspot.com

Postscript: a previous blog entry recount of an ATM visit gone terribly wrong…

I'm so whipped by my bank.

It's really ridiculous.

Banks don't care about you. Don't let them fool you. With their low interest rates and their "loyal client" free checking. Liars and thieves.

You know it. If you're not good with your money like me... doesn't matter if you've been banking with them for NINE DAMN YEARS - they'll play "musical pending transactions" "maintenance fee" "overdraft fee" "excessive overdraft fee" or "transfer fee" or just plain not let you access your money.

But in all that, it was okay. Because BOA has the BEST online interface ever.

You can transfer funds, and now that Countrywide has been purchased by them, I'll be able to transfer my payment directly from my checking account.

And the coolest? The COOLEST was the immediate deposits at the ATM with their new check scanning and money counting features.

If that's not wow, I don't know what is.

But you know what's NOT wow??

Is how I'm a bartender, and I make deposits maybe once every two weeks. I get a lot of big bills, make sure they're crisp... insert them in the ATM...

and then it spits them back out.

Every week I don't bother driving up to the teller, because I think, "No, it won't do it this time."

"Some of your bills could not be accepted."

And every week I end up parking, walking into the bank in a huff, and saying, "I tried to put that bill in the ATM FIVE TIMES. It's not even wrinkled!!!!"

Of course, because I live by the Bell Tower one and they have two drive up ATM's, I always try to bunk the system... One's gotta be better at taking money than the other, right? Or I drive up to one, hoping it will be in service, only to find I have to drive over to the other one...

“This ATM is not currently accepting cash.” – Good thing I work for tips.

But in all that...I've stayed. I have automatic payments that come out of my checking account, and I can't really switch now. Kyle and I make transfers all the time to each other's accounts... I get rent for the condo through Bank of America transfers... Abe even pays us rent for the guest room through it....

I'm committed. I'm in too deep.

But today?

Today was the ULTIMATE.

I leave for work 15 minutes early to deposit my mortgage money into my account so I can pay it today...

Deposit my salon check from last week....

(processing, processing)

Deposit my Edison paycheck from last week....

(processing, processing)

What would you like to do now?

Deposit cash....

Freeze....

I sat there for two minutes... pulled into a teller space (which I should have done in the FIRST place, but I'm too much of a technology fool, not to mention they now require that you bring your own deposit slip, and I don't even carry around checks, let alone deposit slips)...

Told the teller it was frozen, "Oh you have to call the 800 number listed on the ATM."

So, I dial the 800 number...

Enter my access ID...

Enter my password...

"Checking or savings"

"Checking."

"What would you like to do?"

"Speak to an associate"

"You wanted to talk to an associate, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Please hold while I transfer."

(45 seconds)

"Thank you for calling Bank of America, my name is.... (I forget)... What is your name?"

"Amber."

"Thank you, Amber. How can I help you today?"

Give me my effing money back, lady. "The ATM is frozen with my card in it and I just deposited two checks."

"Let me get you in touch with our ATM technicians..."

(Hold for NO LESS than 8 minutes)

My car is running... I'm telling people that the ATM is broken who are driving up behind me....

"Ms. What was the amount of your deposit?"

One million dollars. "Two checks... for..." (I tell her the amounts) "Good thing I didn't put my cash in yet."

"Please hold."

(5 more minutes go by.)

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting."

Liar.

"We have to cancel your card, but the transactions have been acknowledged. We're sending you a new card, until then you'll have to stop in a branch and get a temporary card issued."

(Insert huffy comment here about wasting my time and making me late for work.)

"Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

You can !@$%&@!$ "No. Thank you."

Moral of the story - stop in the branch.

(Update: Not only did this associate forget to order my card, I had to re-order the card about a week after I went into another branch to get a temporary ATM card which that teller told me I had to do nothing to activate, that it was all set (when in reality I was supposed to go to the ATM to activate it)– so that when I went to pay for lunch at Morgan House the next day I looked like a complete fool when my card declined, and I got to walk 2 blocks to the ATM downtown to activate…. While my lunch got cold in the meantime.)

No comments:

Post a Comment